The Standing Committee on Heritage convened to discuss the feasibility of an Official Government Quest to recover the Holy Grail. The Committee needed to determine which brave adventurer(s) should embark on the quest, where they should look, which resources they will be allocated, and how the Grail would be used when returned.
The following is taken from the (formerly classified) briefing on the issue that was provided to Committee members.
"The Holy Grail is a tale as old as time itself. Said to have immeasurable mystical powers and incredible healing capabilities, the Grail is has been sought after for centuries by countless adventures, often with tragic consequences, to no avail. The reasons for obtaining the Grail have differed over the years, but in Canada the rationale is clear: a working Grail would drastically reduce our ballooning health care costs. Mild fever? Touch the Grail. Broke a leg? Rub the Grail. Literally on the brink of death after multiple blunt-force trauma wounds? Just take a quick sip from the Grail.
Researchers at the University of Happy Valley Goose Bay (definitely real) have estimated that we could fire over 60,000 doctors and nurses if the Grail is recovered, saving over $10 billion annually in doctors and pensions. Well some may question these numbers, it is indisputable that Canadian interest in the Grail picked up after being mentioned in the Feudalists United Nationally (FUN) third-party motion in MPSP 17, and public perception has been growing ever since.
However, other countries have begun to show interest in the Grail as well. East and West Korea are both attempting to find it first so they have more things to boast about at UN Peace Conferences, and Scandalnavia thinks that the quest could be televised as an incredibly profitable new reality TV series. Don’t even get us started on the super-secret task force of international mercenaries being assembled by the Caribbean Bloc at this very moment. Losing out on the Grail would be a source of huge embarrassment for Canada, so we cannot let it slip through our fingers again.
The last time the Grail has been officially sighted was in Medieval England during the time of King Albert and the Mostly Square Table, but there have been reports of it surfacing as recently as 1930s Germany. Canadian attempts in the past have been met with general failure, and there are still rumors that the real purpose of the Boer War was because Wilfred Laurier received a tip that the Grail might be in South Africa.
There is much work to be done to ensure the timely retrieval of the Grail, especially since the very survival of Canada as a nation probably depends on this. Okay, probably not, but this is still a pretty big deal.
Find the Grail. Return the Grail. Fire the Doctors. You have 48 hours."
Issues Facing the Committee
Primary concerns for the committee were as follows:
- There are no rules. You have a literally unlimited budget. Just find this thing.
The Committee assembled an elite team to handle the issue and track down the grail. As of MPSP19, no progress had yet been made on this issue, though Michael Giesbrecht claimed to have a very promising lead...